There's an unconscious need to project the national penis into the affairs of others. It goes like this: 'What? They have bigger dicks? Bomb them!' And of course, the bombs, the rockets, and the bullets are all shaped like penises. You needn't be a historian or a political scientist to see the Bigger Dick Foreign Policy Theory at work. And since war is the ultimate competition, essentially men are killing one another in order to improve their genital self-esteem. It's called 'dick fear.' Men are terrified that their dicks are inadequate, and so they have to 'compete' in order to feel better about themselves. That's also what all that moron athlete bullshit is all about, and what that macho, male posturing and strutting around in bars and locker rooms represents. Men, insecure about the size of their penises, choose to kill one another. That's really all it is: a lot of men standing around in a field waving their dicks at one another. I see it largely as an exercise in dick-waving. I also look at war itself a little differently from most. I see them as symbols, and I leave them to the symbol-minded. I don't get all choked up about yellow ribbons and American flags. I don't believe in any of them.Īnd I have to tell you, folks, I don't really believe very much in my country either. And neither do I believe anything I'm told by the media, who, in the case of the Gulf War, functioned as little more than unpaid employees of the Defense Department, and who, most of the time, operate as unofficial public relations agency for the government and industry. Government, Police, clergy, the corporate criminals. My first rule: Never believe anyone in authority says. Not me, There are certain rules I observe.
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You see, I've got this real moron thing I do, it's called 'Thinking' And I guess I'm not a very good American, because I like to form my own opinions I don't just roll over when I'm told. Now you folks might have noticed, I don't feel about that Gulf War the way we were instructed to feel about it by the United States government. I'm still waiting for the day we bomb the English. Even those Serbs we bombed in Yugoslavia aren't really white, are they? Naaah! They're sort of down near the swarthy end of the white spectrum. And not because they're cutting in our action we do it because they're brown. And that was only because they were tryin' to cut in on our action. Well, who were the last white people you can remember that we bombed? In fact, can you remember any white people we ever bombed? The Germans! That's it. You got some brown people in your country? Tell 'em to watch the fuck out, or we'll goddamn bomb them! But it's also our new job in the world: bombing brown people. Oh, we like that, don't we? That's our hobby now.
#GEORGE CARLIN YOUTUBE ABOUT STUFF FULL#
We can bomb the shit outta your country.Įspecially if your country is full of brown people. But we can bomb the shit outta your country, all right.
#GEORGE CARLIN YOUTUBE ABOUT STUFF TV#
Can't make a TV set, a cell phone, or a VCR. And it's just as well we are, because we're not very good at anything else. We average a major war every twenty years, So we're good at it.
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This country is only 200 years old, and already we've had ten major wars. You know why we're good at it? Because we get a lot of practice. We enjoy war.Īnd one reason we enjoy it is that we're good at it.
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We couldn't wait for the Cold War to end so we could climb into the big Arab sandbox and play with our nice new toys. We can't stand not to be fucking with someone.
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And that makes sense, because we like war. And even though the TV show consisted largely of Pentagon war criminals displaying maps and charts, it got very good ratings. Let me tell you what I liked about that Gulf War: it was the first war that appeared on every television channel, including cable.